One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
How much wedding planning do you think you can do before the official engagement? Is it really practical or a good idea to look at venues before your engaged?
Do your opinions change when I tell you it's the couple looking at spaces and listening to potential bands?
What if it's just the girl and her mom? What does that change?
I'm asking because I sort of feel weird about having discussions about my wedding when I'm not engaged, and yet I seem to have them all the time.
Are there other discussions like this? Somehow it's appropriate to talk about a mutual desire for children as early as the 5th date, but talking about what you'll name those kids... not appropriate until a few months before you decide to start trying. What are these invisible lines of social etiquette that we all have? How do we know what is appropriate, and what's not?
I've just finished a really interesting book called 'Live through this'. It's about a women who's two daughters run away at 12 and 14 and how she goes through the next 3 years of her life trying to find them/function/deal. It's this really interesting story in so many ways. Looking at the decline of her girls, how they went from normal 10 year olds to grungy street kids. How the 'system' is designed to help her children stay away, despite her good parenting and attempts to bring her girls home. How she deals with the two other girls she has, and trying to create a sense of normalcy for them when the other two are in and out of the house.
While I've been reading that, I've also started in on M@'s favorite book, 'Two years before the mast'. While it's been good, it's also very clunky, and I'm not just talking about the two 400 page hardback books I've actually been carrying around. He says it basically changed his life. That it influenced him so much when he was growing up. I just don't really see it. Interesting, sure, infuencing, not so much.
I just started into a book called 'Supergirls.' I didn't realize it was written by a 19 year old when I picked it up, but so far it's been annoying. I thought it was a collection of essays and thoughts by various industrious women. Really it's a look at the feminine ideal and today's media culture inspiring a generation of impossibly perfect yet ultimately f*ed up girls. Eh...
Someone at the office mentioned that layoff's might be imminent. Not really sure what to think about that. I really love it here, and it would suck to loose my job. At the same time, worrying about a layoff certainly isn't going to help me get better at my job or keep it any longer. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
paycuts and furloughs and layoffs Oh My!
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
We just got the first of what I'm sure will be numerous official letters about the upcoming Paycuts, possible furloughs and additional layoffs. So far we've had none of the above actually happen, but I'm positive that they will.
Since I work for a public university all of this information is public, and there has been LOTS of talk about it:
http://chronicle.com/news/article/6668/u-of-california-faculty-and-staff-members-could-face-8-pay-cut
For the record of this article, it's not the best one about the possible paycuts, but it is a public source. I'd also like to point out that I don't think I'm grossly overpaid. I think I'm paid okay, but it sucks that for the time I will work here I can never even think about getting a raise... I can barely contemplate getting cost of living. I can basically get 2% for the rest of my life, and now, they are going to take away the 2% everyone has earned for the last 4 years.... that sucks.
In this proposal that they sent out there were lots of interesting options. Option 1, just take away our money and we keep working the way we are. Option 2, they give us unpaid leave to make up for the $ they are taking. Option 3, they give us some unpaid leave, and make up the rest in a straight paycut.
Who in there right mind would say, "ah, just give me the paycut... that's cool..."
I've taken up event management gigs on the side to try to get a little extra cash flow. And my dad has decreased my rent by 1/5th to help cover the money I'm loosing. But no, I'm still not buying the expensive mustard. In fact, I'm barely getting by.
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We just got the first of what I'm sure will be numerous official letters about the upcoming Paycuts, possible furloughs and additional layoffs. So far we've had none of the above actually happen, but I'm positive that they will.
Since I work for a public university all of this information is public, and there has been LOTS of talk about it:
http://chronicle.com/news/article/6668/u-of-california-faculty-and-staff-members-could-face-8-pay-cut
For the record of this article, it's not the best one about the possible paycuts, but it is a public source. I'd also like to point out that I don't think I'm grossly overpaid. I think I'm paid okay, but it sucks that for the time I will work here I can never even think about getting a raise... I can barely contemplate getting cost of living. I can basically get 2% for the rest of my life, and now, they are going to take away the 2% everyone has earned for the last 4 years.... that sucks.
In this proposal that they sent out there were lots of interesting options. Option 1, just take away our money and we keep working the way we are. Option 2, they give us unpaid leave to make up for the $ they are taking. Option 3, they give us some unpaid leave, and make up the rest in a straight paycut.
Who in there right mind would say, "ah, just give me the paycut... that's cool..."
I've taken up event management gigs on the side to try to get a little extra cash flow. And my dad has decreased my rent by 1/5th to help cover the money I'm loosing. But no, I'm still not buying the expensive mustard. In fact, I'm barely getting by.
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Thursday, June 18, 2009
Making Choices...or trying to...
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
6. Make choices. Today’s twenty-something has an upscale problem: an abundance of choices which often leads to making no choice at all. If decision making is a weak skill, find ways to build your decision making muscle. Resist the urge to call your friends and parents when faced with a decision. Make little choices each day on your own, without consulting anyone else (unless of course your choice directly affects another or others).
I've stolen this from the 'Frisky site' here. I'm not exactly sure, but this statement really makes sense for my twenty-something existence right now.
We all know I just got back from Alaska, and yes, I will talk about it, but right now I wanted to talk about this interesting conundrum I have. Making choices. Anyone who's gone out to eat with me, gone shopping with me, or hung around with me knows that I am terrible at making 'mundane' decisions. Give me a big decision (which college to go to, which job to take) and I'm good, but ask me what I want for dinner at the cheesecake factory and I'm like a wax stature, stuck in indecision.
What's bringing this up right now? Well over the Alaska trip there were several times when I just couldn't make a decision. There were menus with 17 or more items on them, and that was just the entrees. There were streets and streets and towns and towns filled with tourist shops. Trying to figure out which t-shirt to buy was just so overwhelming. I'm happy to say that I did make a decision, but not happy to say that Matt's sister Katelin got to witness my inability to make a decision.
Why is it that I can't decide which socks to buy, but between three job offers I know what's right? Why is it that almost every time I go shopping I will inevitably return about 1/3 of the items I buy? Is this a problem?
I have often debated the 'problem' that today's youth have, the overabundance of options and choices. When our parents went to work, they had one job, maybe two or three their whole lives. My current boss was just rewarded for 20 years at the same company! I've already worked for four different companies, and no, it's not the type of work that makes me move around so much.
When my grandfather decided to work, he chose a job, and then he planned to have that job for basically the rest of his life. If not that exact job, then certainly the same company and the same industry. My father was basically the same. He flitted around a little bit right after the military, then again after college, but ultimately he chose a career and then he stuck to it. Both of these people didn't have that many options. My father never thought to himself, 'hmm... I have a photographic degree, but maybe I want to become and airline pilot.' My mother was a teacher. She never thought to herself 'maybe I want to be a rock climbing instructor, or a dental x-ray technician. Forget about the degree and the work I've already put in, I want to do something else.'
Now, it's almost impossible to think about something you can't do. I was watching NCIS last night and I actually started to fill out an application for the Mossad. Do I speak Hebrew? No. Do I want to move to Israel right now? No. Do I really want to be part of a covert operations unit? No. But I have this overwhelming opinion that if I wanted to, I could. That nothing is off the table for me.
My dad used to say that all the time... that I could be anything I wanted to be. What do you think?
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6. Make choices. Today’s twenty-something has an upscale problem: an abundance of choices which often leads to making no choice at all. If decision making is a weak skill, find ways to build your decision making muscle. Resist the urge to call your friends and parents when faced with a decision. Make little choices each day on your own, without consulting anyone else (unless of course your choice directly affects another or others).
I've stolen this from the 'Frisky site' here. I'm not exactly sure, but this statement really makes sense for my twenty-something existence right now.
We all know I just got back from Alaska, and yes, I will talk about it, but right now I wanted to talk about this interesting conundrum I have. Making choices. Anyone who's gone out to eat with me, gone shopping with me, or hung around with me knows that I am terrible at making 'mundane' decisions. Give me a big decision (which college to go to, which job to take) and I'm good, but ask me what I want for dinner at the cheesecake factory and I'm like a wax stature, stuck in indecision.
What's bringing this up right now? Well over the Alaska trip there were several times when I just couldn't make a decision. There were menus with 17 or more items on them, and that was just the entrees. There were streets and streets and towns and towns filled with tourist shops. Trying to figure out which t-shirt to buy was just so overwhelming. I'm happy to say that I did make a decision, but not happy to say that Matt's sister Katelin got to witness my inability to make a decision.
Why is it that I can't decide which socks to buy, but between three job offers I know what's right? Why is it that almost every time I go shopping I will inevitably return about 1/3 of the items I buy? Is this a problem?
I have often debated the 'problem' that today's youth have, the overabundance of options and choices. When our parents went to work, they had one job, maybe two or three their whole lives. My current boss was just rewarded for 20 years at the same company! I've already worked for four different companies, and no, it's not the type of work that makes me move around so much.
When my grandfather decided to work, he chose a job, and then he planned to have that job for basically the rest of his life. If not that exact job, then certainly the same company and the same industry. My father was basically the same. He flitted around a little bit right after the military, then again after college, but ultimately he chose a career and then he stuck to it. Both of these people didn't have that many options. My father never thought to himself, 'hmm... I have a photographic degree, but maybe I want to become and airline pilot.' My mother was a teacher. She never thought to herself 'maybe I want to be a rock climbing instructor, or a dental x-ray technician. Forget about the degree and the work I've already put in, I want to do something else.'
Now, it's almost impossible to think about something you can't do. I was watching NCIS last night and I actually started to fill out an application for the Mossad. Do I speak Hebrew? No. Do I want to move to Israel right now? No. Do I really want to be part of a covert operations unit? No. But I have this overwhelming opinion that if I wanted to, I could. That nothing is off the table for me.
My dad used to say that all the time... that I could be anything I wanted to be. What do you think?
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Thursday, May 28, 2009
Crazy woman..no really
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
I have just come to the conclusion that I'm a little crazy. Okay, I'll give you a moment to nod your heads in agreement or cheer at my revelation...
Really though, I do tend to be a bit on the dramatic side. I'm dramatic, I'm overly invested and involved. I talk fast, type fast, walk fast. I go from tears to smiles and back again in an instant.
I also share much more personal information with people than I should. If you're reading this blog then you might agree with this assessment. Not sure why that is, sometimes it just comes out of my mouth. Perhaps it has something to do with me wanting to be a part of everything.
I wanted to say THANK YOU! Thank you for tolerating me, loving me, sharing with me. Thank you for being who you are, reading here, and deciding that I am important enough to be a part of your lives.
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I have just come to the conclusion that I'm a little crazy. Okay, I'll give you a moment to nod your heads in agreement or cheer at my revelation...
Really though, I do tend to be a bit on the dramatic side. I'm dramatic, I'm overly invested and involved. I talk fast, type fast, walk fast. I go from tears to smiles and back again in an instant.
I also share much more personal information with people than I should. If you're reading this blog then you might agree with this assessment. Not sure why that is, sometimes it just comes out of my mouth. Perhaps it has something to do with me wanting to be a part of everything.
I wanted to say THANK YOU! Thank you for tolerating me, loving me, sharing with me. Thank you for being who you are, reading here, and deciding that I am important enough to be a part of your lives.
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Thursday, May 21, 2009
Spring
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
In traveling to Alaska I remembered a time when I used to read about an Alaskan mom... Scribbit. So, finding her page again I also found the 'write-away contests' http://scribbit.blogspot.com/2009/05/mays-write-away-contest-just-for-you.html
I really don't have that much of an interest in a Wii baseball prize, but I did think that Spring was a good thing to write about...
I remember the very first time I knew spring. For most people this age would be around 5 or 6 years old but for me, from sunny southern california, I experienced my first spring at 18 years old. That was the first time I remember going from a winter, where tank-tops just didn't work, to a spring where the sun came out. I remember getting up from my dorm room bunk that morning and feeling hot snuggled up in my comforter and blankets. I remember looking out the window and seeing a few tufts of grass on the formerly white lawn. I remember thinking how impossible it was going to be to find my tank-tops amid all the coats.
Walking outside I saw things I hadn't seen before. Girls in bikini's sitting on the concrete, men without shirts throwing around a frisbee...I thought they had all gone mad. It was still under 60 degrees, and impossibly cold to me. That, however, was the first moment that I recognized Spring.
Each week it got warmer and warmer, and I remember being so happy when the last of the snow fell away...
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In traveling to Alaska I remembered a time when I used to read about an Alaskan mom... Scribbit. So, finding her page again I also found the 'write-away contests' http://scribbit.blogspot.com/2009/05/mays-write-away-contest-just-for-you.html
I really don't have that much of an interest in a Wii baseball prize, but I did think that Spring was a good thing to write about...
I remember the very first time I knew spring. For most people this age would be around 5 or 6 years old but for me, from sunny southern california, I experienced my first spring at 18 years old. That was the first time I remember going from a winter, where tank-tops just didn't work, to a spring where the sun came out. I remember getting up from my dorm room bunk that morning and feeling hot snuggled up in my comforter and blankets. I remember looking out the window and seeing a few tufts of grass on the formerly white lawn. I remember thinking how impossible it was going to be to find my tank-tops amid all the coats.
Walking outside I saw things I hadn't seen before. Girls in bikini's sitting on the concrete, men without shirts throwing around a frisbee...I thought they had all gone mad. It was still under 60 degrees, and impossibly cold to me. That, however, was the first moment that I recognized Spring.
Each week it got warmer and warmer, and I remember being so happy when the last of the snow fell away...
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Lots of Random Thoughts
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
This week has been very trying with everything going on... I really hope that Grey's Anatomy is as good as everyone said it is, that's what I'm doing at Lunch today... Is it easier to be a Christian? Not just in America, but everywhere?...Matt is going down to 'war' by the Mexican American border, I'm trying hard not to freak out to much... Anyone know the weather in Alaska at the start of June?...What do people like to eat at a potluck? My tuna/tomatoes did not go over very well...Is there something wrong with having an honest conversation about how everyone can improve conversations?... My sister gets married in less than 10 days, we're almost at less than a week... Is it odd that I cry a little when I think about her changing her name... There was a man on campus yesterday who was carrying around a paintball rifle, though the text message alerts at the beginning noted that SWAT had been called out... The trees outside my office window make me really happy... If they don't show up at Disneyland on Wednesday I might have a panic attack... I finally made really good biscuits for breakfast one morning, but I still think the brownies out of the box were a better treat... Mimi's new Strawberry Lemonade Sparkling Wine drink is really good!... I'm jealous of the fact that other schools are already out for the summer... Anyone else want to travel to London with me?
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This week has been very trying with everything going on... I really hope that Grey's Anatomy is as good as everyone said it is, that's what I'm doing at Lunch today... Is it easier to be a Christian? Not just in America, but everywhere?...Matt is going down to 'war' by the Mexican American border, I'm trying hard not to freak out to much... Anyone know the weather in Alaska at the start of June?...What do people like to eat at a potluck? My tuna/tomatoes did not go over very well...Is there something wrong with having an honest conversation about how everyone can improve conversations?... My sister gets married in less than 10 days, we're almost at less than a week... Is it odd that I cry a little when I think about her changing her name... There was a man on campus yesterday who was carrying around a paintball rifle, though the text message alerts at the beginning noted that SWAT had been called out... The trees outside my office window make me really happy... If they don't show up at Disneyland on Wednesday I might have a panic attack... I finally made really good biscuits for breakfast one morning, but I still think the brownies out of the box were a better treat... Mimi's new Strawberry Lemonade Sparkling Wine drink is really good!... I'm jealous of the fact that other schools are already out for the summer... Anyone else want to travel to London with me?
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Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Stuck in Wedding Crazy, but on a slight job down moment
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
My sisters bachelorette party was last weekend. I have to say that I am eternally thankful that things went well. It started off a bit rocky with an extremely busy and challenging work week, but things finally got rolling when my cellphone died at the airport picking up Becca's friends.
The house we rented ended up being Awesome! I would totally recommend vacationrentals.com to just about anyone, since that's where we got the house from. It was a bit far from the wineries, but totally cute and cheap.
Friday night consisted of drinking (read 5 bottles of vodka, 4 bottles of wine for 9 girls), chatting (lots of new friends) and playing games (10 fingers and Dirty Words). We all stayed up until about 1am before finally turning in.
Saturday went perfectly, with the limo arriving at 10:50, complete with a cute driver. All of the wineries were great, and we started off things with Briar Rose. Probably my least favorite, but that was because we were the only ones there. Then off to lunch and wine at Keyways, which was at the cutest little table out on the patio. Lunch was great, and the wines were wonderful. Anyone want to buy me some Ice wine? Then we went to Leonese, where our driver went out and picked up some yummy hot brie/garlic bread. We polished that off with another 7 or 8 tastings. By the end of it, we were all wiped, and fairly drunk (read 6 glasses of wine!).
Saturday afternoon we napped, and showered, then some girls made this wonderful pasta dinner. We got all dolled up and went out on the town. Three bars later we were dancing at Club Eleven. We stayed out until almost 2am. For some reason cute boys really wanted to dance with me on my crutches, fun to say the least. Then back to the house for snacking and wonderful Mac N-Cheese. Yummy!
Sunday was quite quick, with basically good byes, some random moving of food, and me driving girls to the airports. Luckily things worked out okay, and I ended up at work that afternoon fine.
Some things were really funny. I found myself looking at my beautiful sister with tears in my eyes...that soon she would be a Wong, no longer a B--kser. Especially when someone commented on us as sisters. There were times when I just had to look away, but I know part of that is because she was so happy, and I'm so happy that she had a good weekend.
It was also mother's day, and although I didn't get to the Miller event, M@ did drop off flowers to my mom! He is an amazing man.
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My sisters bachelorette party was last weekend. I have to say that I am eternally thankful that things went well. It started off a bit rocky with an extremely busy and challenging work week, but things finally got rolling when my cellphone died at the airport picking up Becca's friends.
The house we rented ended up being Awesome! I would totally recommend vacationrentals.com to just about anyone, since that's where we got the house from. It was a bit far from the wineries, but totally cute and cheap.
Friday night consisted of drinking (read 5 bottles of vodka, 4 bottles of wine for 9 girls), chatting (lots of new friends) and playing games (10 fingers and Dirty Words). We all stayed up until about 1am before finally turning in.
Saturday went perfectly, with the limo arriving at 10:50, complete with a cute driver. All of the wineries were great, and we started off things with Briar Rose. Probably my least favorite, but that was because we were the only ones there. Then off to lunch and wine at Keyways, which was at the cutest little table out on the patio. Lunch was great, and the wines were wonderful. Anyone want to buy me some Ice wine? Then we went to Leonese, where our driver went out and picked up some yummy hot brie/garlic bread. We polished that off with another 7 or 8 tastings. By the end of it, we were all wiped, and fairly drunk (read 6 glasses of wine!).
Saturday afternoon we napped, and showered, then some girls made this wonderful pasta dinner. We got all dolled up and went out on the town. Three bars later we were dancing at Club Eleven. We stayed out until almost 2am. For some reason cute boys really wanted to dance with me on my crutches, fun to say the least. Then back to the house for snacking and wonderful Mac N-Cheese. Yummy!
Sunday was quite quick, with basically good byes, some random moving of food, and me driving girls to the airports. Luckily things worked out okay, and I ended up at work that afternoon fine.
Some things were really funny. I found myself looking at my beautiful sister with tears in my eyes...that soon she would be a Wong, no longer a B--kser. Especially when someone commented on us as sisters. There were times when I just had to look away, but I know part of that is because she was so happy, and I'm so happy that she had a good weekend.
It was also mother's day, and although I didn't get to the Miller event, M@ did drop off flowers to my mom! He is an amazing man.
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